I've just met with Mr Manure's junior person - well, one of them - and now I'm waiting to have bloodwork done.

He poked around my tum and took some details in a rather no-nonsense and distracted fashion. He said they'd refer me now to a bariatric doctor and a dietician. After those appointments, then I'll follow up with the surgeon and a decision will be made. Actually, two decisions - whether or not to do the surgery and what type of surgery to do.

He said my follow up appointment would be in 2-3 months time. I'm hoping that I can get those other two appointments done and then press for a closer appointment.

When they decide to do surgery, they'll apply for for funding. It's so going to be a long journey!

Just had bloodwork done and made a date for the follow up apointment. 22 November. Lovely.

Today at 13:30, I'm going to leave the office and head to my appointment with the Consultant. His name is Mr Mannur. I've Googled him and found out that he does the same operations for Bupa at the London Independent Hospital. So he sounds quite experienced.. I just can't get over the fact that his name is Mannur - I keep pronouncing it like Manure in my head. Ew. Poop. I'm obviously in mature mode today, huh?

I told my two big bosses at work yesterday about pursuing WLS.. one looked like I'd just told him I was going to have my girl parts removed (bless him, he's very sweet and I scarred him a few months back when I dared to tell him that I had cramps..) and the other told me that she didn't think I was big enough to have surgery. That was flattering, I suppose.

Here's something weird that I'll share with you - I have no concept of what my body actually looks like. I know the numerical value of my weight and what I see in the mirror, but I can't quite grasp how big or how not big I am. I look at other overweight people constantly and wonder if I'm bigger or smaller than they are. I wish I had someone with me, sometimes, who would actually say 'yes, you are her size' or 'your bum is actually a little bit bigger than hers'.. That way, I think I'd have more of an accurate body image. I know I'm overweight, but mentally I don't feel overweight - whatever that is supposed to feel like.

I just read/watch/hear so many things about how being overweight ruins peoples' lives and how they can't do certain things, find love, have children and I think - there's nothing I can't do because of my weight. Wait, okay, I know there are probably things that I can't do like fit comfortably in small spaces or shop at the Gap.. but nothing life altering that I can't have/do/want/achieve.

Does that make sense?

So - let's get you up to speed. I've been thinking about Weight Loss Surgery (WLS) for a while now. I'm pretty sure it's the right thing to do. I seem to have always gone back and forth between dieting and giving up all hope and just eating and not worrying about things. Obviously, the latter of the two isn't exactly the most healthy way to live. I know WLS isn't a magic option and that it will be quite a journey - but I'm ready to take the steps to begin. Last year, I used Reductil to help me lose about 47 pounds. Eventually, as most pills that affect your seratonin do - they stopped working and I began a slow slide back into gaining instead of losing. I don't want to gain it all back and I must say, I've been sort of bitten by the weight loss bug.

I come from a large family. My mom and dad are both considerably overweight and I've always been chunky. Well, as long as I can remember. I think the one thing that sets me apart from a stereotypical fat person is that I've always been pretty popular and haven't had a really tormented life being larger. Yes, I've always been bigger than my friends - but I've always had friends to be bigger than, if that makes sense.

I'm not saying that I've always been happy being overweight - it's just something that sort of makes up a part of me and if anything, has helped me create an outstanding (if I do say so myself) personality over the years. I'm not really in your face about it - but I do sort of fall in line with the belief that this is who I am and part of being me is being overweight.

So - even though I'm pretty well adjusted, this surgery could mean a pretty deep soul search down the line, I think. We'll see.

I live in England - and even though I'm lucky enough to have private healthcare, they will not cover the surgery. Pity, since if I continue as how I'm going they'll have to fund a myriad of problems resulting from my being (oh these are my new favourite words) morbidly obese.

I then went and met with my local GP, who I've seen a few times in the course of being watched by the practice when I was on Reductil last year. She thought I was a good candidate for the surgery and has referred me to a surgeon at the Homerton Hospital. I got a letter from the Homerton telling me I could ring for an appointment - so I did and I managed to get one on 11 October, a full two months from the date I called.

Not content with that, I rang them back this morning and luckily, someone had cancelled their appointment for tomorrow. So at 14:15 tomorrow I'll meet with the surgeon who may or may not do my surgery. I have no idea what to expect.

This is where it gets fun and may get complicated.. From what I've been told, if they think I'm a good candidate for the surgery, they will write to my PCT (Primary Care Trust)asking for the funding for my operation. I really have no idea what to expect on that front. Really, really.

So I'll keep you posted..

My name is Elizabeth - I'm a 34 year-old expat American living in London, England. I've decided to pursue Weight Loss Surgery and this is my story.