Good news..

After an hour and a half wait in, what I've now termed the 'hallway of annoyance' I was called in to see Mr Mannur. And this time it was the man himself - it was a rather Santa-like experience.

All I can say is that I would like to see him for all my appointments. Maybe it's because I was his last appointment of the day - but he was very kind and took his time explaining things to me. We went over my history and glamourous co-morbidities and then he said that we would definitely go ahead and apply for funding.

Get this - we are totally on track for the op in February! He did say that getting funding from the Newham PCT is usually challenging with an average time of three months for funding, but apparently I can chase people in the PCT and fight my corner. I've been told to wait a month and then start to find out where I am in the process. I will, most likely, wait until the beginning of the year.

I will not see him again until we meet for a pre-op appointment. So - all was not lost and I was very, very glad that I went to the appointment.

Now, back to the hallway of annoyance. It's so weird - you sit in this hallway outside the consulting rooms and wait to be called for your appointment. The people that are there are all for appointments with Mr Mannur and friends - as that's their 'clinic'. This means you have a mix of pre and post op people. Yesterday seemed to be an even mix of both. The people - oh the people - they're all very East End and were I not grumpy, quite entertaining.

I played my PSP and kept my head down - I wasn't in the mood to strike up a conversation with a woman who explained to everyone that she'd 'had the gazzie band, luv' and a man who was keen for people to know that he'd 'known a geezer who'd been chucking up in the loo for days'. Uh, no thanks.

So - all in all, a good result and one hurdle passed with not much mention of my trick thyroid. Now I go back to waiting..

Oh almost forgot to mention!
Apparently, on the NHS you are not able to choose which type of operation you would like. While your preference is taken into account, apparently, it's up to the surgeon to decide what's best for you. Most people have the adjustable lap band done which I don't want as the thought of it inside me and a port that I can feel really freaks me out. However, my sparkling little polycystic ovaries have caused Mr Mannur to assign me to have a Roux En Y, which is the surgery I was hoping for. You go girls!

I have my follow up appointment with the 'Fat Surgeon' (as I've lovingly started to call him) today at 15:30. I've really contemplated not going as I'm not sure what he's going to tell me, given the talk I had with the other doctor a few weeks ago. BUT I certainly don't want to get lost in the NHS queue. So I will go, but am not expecting to hear anything uplifting or new.

I've also not heard from my GP about the referral to the endocrinologist. I suppose I'll give their office a call and see what I can find out about it. I get so frustrated because you call and no one knows who you are, why you're there/calling or what you need. And the crappy part? They don't care. I suppose, there are so many people assigned to a surgery that they can't care. But every time I go to any doctor here I feel that because my illnesses aren't acute, I have to fight and push and pull to get anything done.

Does my GP know me and my family? Nope. When I go to the Fat Surgeon, does he know me? Nope. Do I ever see the same person twice? Nope. It's insane and slowly driving me mad.

I know people will counter with 'but you don't have to pay for anything' - but you know what? When I lived in America and paid insurance and copayments and all that jazz.. at least the people I paid knew me and didn't have to take the same bloody information time and time again and start at square one constantly. I'd rather shuck out a $20 co-payment and feel like I and my health matter to someone than be stuck in a system where I'm just a number and in a system that is so overburdened that my health is not a priority.

So there.

I've always felt that I was hyper...

Yesterday I had my appointment with the gastroenterologist. When I finally got to see him (well, I say him.. it was a 'member of his team') he started by saying, 'do you know why they wanted you to see me?' To which I replied, 'No, not really.' He said, 'Well, that makes two of us.'

Cue silence from me.

After he read through my notes he said that I'd been sent to him to ensure that I (and my medical history) are fit enough to be considered as a candidate for surgery. We went through my history, we went through my current medications and we went through a lovely physical exam that involved precisely 45 seconds of pushing on my belly.

Let's stop there for a second.

I have to tell you that these appointments have been really weird so far. Obviously, I'm there because I have a problem and am seeking help from medical professionals. Now, to be considered for weight loss surgery (WLS) it helps if you have what they lovingly call a 'co-morbidity'. Which simply means something else other than my weight that will eventually kill me - to not sugar coat it. When you're talking WLS, the more of those you have, the more attractive you are for this operation because let's face it - most of the co-morbs are caused by carrying excessive weight.

When I talk to the doctors, I sort of feel like I'm saying, 'why YES, I do have diabetes and my mother has it too and wait for it, so does my dad! have I mentioned that I also have HIGH CHOLESTEROL? Ha ha, how you like me now!' Like, for the first time, the more I have wrong with me the better, if that makes sense.

That makes me feel weird.

Anyway - so I'm rambling about my history and in a hurry to advertise my glamourous co-morbs, I casually throw in that my GP has recently seen some odd test results regarding my thyroid. Apparently, I'm trying on Hyperthyroidism as a new co-morbidity, although the diagnoses of hyPOthyroidism would have been totally in line with my big fat self.

At that point, Dr Whatshisname's eyes cloud over. Bottom line is that he wants me to see an endocrinologist to sort out the thyroid issues (and get a better grip on my diabetes) before he'll recommend me to the surgeon.

HUGELY disappointing news. Damn thyroid - why couldn't it be underactive instead of over? I suppose it's an overachiever and I should be proud. I am kidding, of course.

I'm pleased to see a specialist and considering he mentioned possible tumours on my thyroid as the cause, I'm super keen. It's just that I'm not really in love with the delay on the surgery that I'm kind of counting on.

After three phone calls and much shoulder shrugging on the hospital's part - we've now gotten to the bottom of what happened.

They rescheduled my gastroenterology appointment for the following week and the consultant (Doctor) told the office to cancel my general surgery appointment as it wasn't needed. I believe the consultant was confused as the whole reason I'm seeing him is for the general surgery appointment with Mr Mannur and friends.

So - as it was their screw up, they've reinstated my appointment with Mr Mannur as originally scheduled. I was very worried that they would have to put me at the back of the queue. That would've made me a bit cranky.

Gastro appt - 1 November
Mannur follow up - 22 November
and the appointment with the nutrionist is still MIA. Must remember to call and hassle for that one.

I wonder if all this paperwork/red tape cutting burns calories?

I shouldn't have jinxed myself. Got home today to find two more letters saying that my appointments have been cancelled. NICE.

Finally!

The letter inviting me to call and book my appointment with the gastroenterologist finally came in the post while we were on holiday last week. I was mucho relieved as it means that I can keep my surgeon appointment for the end of November.

I'm due to see the gastro doctor on Wednesday the 22nd of October - so, in two week's time. I have NO idea why I'm seeing him, what he's going to tell me or anything like that. All I know is that I have to meet with him as he will report back to the surgeon on me and based on findings will or will not recommend surgery.

I'm ready for this surgery. Big time. I'm hoping to have this appointment and then call and see if I can get them to move my follow up appt with Mr Mannur and friends up a week or two. Who knows.

I knew this was going to be a long process. Unfortunately, I'm not getting any slimmer as I find myself thinking, 'oh, go ahead and have that [insert food name here], after surgery you may never be able to have it again, not ever, not never, no way, no how.'

See - my relationship with food is wonky.

No word...

So far, no word from the nutritionist and other doctor. I've decided that I'm going to give it until the end of this week, then I'm going to start making calls trying to find out what's going on... I hate waiting.

I've just met with Mr Manure's junior person - well, one of them - and now I'm waiting to have bloodwork done.

He poked around my tum and took some details in a rather no-nonsense and distracted fashion. He said they'd refer me now to a bariatric doctor and a dietician. After those appointments, then I'll follow up with the surgeon and a decision will be made. Actually, two decisions - whether or not to do the surgery and what type of surgery to do.

He said my follow up appointment would be in 2-3 months time. I'm hoping that I can get those other two appointments done and then press for a closer appointment.

When they decide to do surgery, they'll apply for for funding. It's so going to be a long journey!

Just had bloodwork done and made a date for the follow up apointment. 22 November. Lovely.

Today at 13:30, I'm going to leave the office and head to my appointment with the Consultant. His name is Mr Mannur. I've Googled him and found out that he does the same operations for Bupa at the London Independent Hospital. So he sounds quite experienced.. I just can't get over the fact that his name is Mannur - I keep pronouncing it like Manure in my head. Ew. Poop. I'm obviously in mature mode today, huh?

I told my two big bosses at work yesterday about pursuing WLS.. one looked like I'd just told him I was going to have my girl parts removed (bless him, he's very sweet and I scarred him a few months back when I dared to tell him that I had cramps..) and the other told me that she didn't think I was big enough to have surgery. That was flattering, I suppose.

Here's something weird that I'll share with you - I have no concept of what my body actually looks like. I know the numerical value of my weight and what I see in the mirror, but I can't quite grasp how big or how not big I am. I look at other overweight people constantly and wonder if I'm bigger or smaller than they are. I wish I had someone with me, sometimes, who would actually say 'yes, you are her size' or 'your bum is actually a little bit bigger than hers'.. That way, I think I'd have more of an accurate body image. I know I'm overweight, but mentally I don't feel overweight - whatever that is supposed to feel like.

I just read/watch/hear so many things about how being overweight ruins peoples' lives and how they can't do certain things, find love, have children and I think - there's nothing I can't do because of my weight. Wait, okay, I know there are probably things that I can't do like fit comfortably in small spaces or shop at the Gap.. but nothing life altering that I can't have/do/want/achieve.

Does that make sense?

So - let's get you up to speed. I've been thinking about Weight Loss Surgery (WLS) for a while now. I'm pretty sure it's the right thing to do. I seem to have always gone back and forth between dieting and giving up all hope and just eating and not worrying about things. Obviously, the latter of the two isn't exactly the most healthy way to live. I know WLS isn't a magic option and that it will be quite a journey - but I'm ready to take the steps to begin. Last year, I used Reductil to help me lose about 47 pounds. Eventually, as most pills that affect your seratonin do - they stopped working and I began a slow slide back into gaining instead of losing. I don't want to gain it all back and I must say, I've been sort of bitten by the weight loss bug.

I come from a large family. My mom and dad are both considerably overweight and I've always been chunky. Well, as long as I can remember. I think the one thing that sets me apart from a stereotypical fat person is that I've always been pretty popular and haven't had a really tormented life being larger. Yes, I've always been bigger than my friends - but I've always had friends to be bigger than, if that makes sense.

I'm not saying that I've always been happy being overweight - it's just something that sort of makes up a part of me and if anything, has helped me create an outstanding (if I do say so myself) personality over the years. I'm not really in your face about it - but I do sort of fall in line with the belief that this is who I am and part of being me is being overweight.

So - even though I'm pretty well adjusted, this surgery could mean a pretty deep soul search down the line, I think. We'll see.

I live in England - and even though I'm lucky enough to have private healthcare, they will not cover the surgery. Pity, since if I continue as how I'm going they'll have to fund a myriad of problems resulting from my being (oh these are my new favourite words) morbidly obese.

I then went and met with my local GP, who I've seen a few times in the course of being watched by the practice when I was on Reductil last year. She thought I was a good candidate for the surgery and has referred me to a surgeon at the Homerton Hospital. I got a letter from the Homerton telling me I could ring for an appointment - so I did and I managed to get one on 11 October, a full two months from the date I called.

Not content with that, I rang them back this morning and luckily, someone had cancelled their appointment for tomorrow. So at 14:15 tomorrow I'll meet with the surgeon who may or may not do my surgery. I have no idea what to expect.

This is where it gets fun and may get complicated.. From what I've been told, if they think I'm a good candidate for the surgery, they will write to my PCT (Primary Care Trust)asking for the funding for my operation. I really have no idea what to expect on that front. Really, really.

So I'll keep you posted..

My name is Elizabeth - I'm a 34 year-old expat American living in London, England. I've decided to pursue Weight Loss Surgery and this is my story.