Life in the Fat Lane

2007-06-19T15:22:00.001+01:00

I know I haven't posted here since my surgery. It's just that the whole experience is so front and centre in my life that I've just been blogging it from my main site. So head over there and I'll be back here eventually as the hugeness of what I've had done fades into the background.

2007-06-11T23:11:00.001+01:00

Well I guess that liquid diet thing works - I've lost about 8lbs since last Wednesday. I cleansed my colon (hey how's that for TMI?) today and it was going just fine until I got to Mary Catherine's school to pick her up. I managed to get home - but I certainly didn't stop when I ran through the door!

I have to be at the hospital tomorrow for 7am.. it's 11pm now. I hope I will be able to sleep.

I'm having doubts and lots of worries. I really hope I make it through the operation and look back at this post and think I am just being silly. I know that there are serious things to worry about after the surgery - but right now I'm mostly afraid of the actual operation.

I hate being put to sleep and waking up in recovery. Hate the buzzy feeling in my ears as they give me the cocktail that zonks me out. I don't like waking up in recovery not being able to see because they put my glasses somewhere. I'm not too keen on the morphine making me itch like a banshee...

So off I go in the morning. I'll update when I can from the losing side!

2007-06-10T21:45:00.000+01:00

Okay - being on a liquid diet for a week really sucks.

Just thought I'd share that.

My operation is only a day away now... I'm really very, very nervous.

2007-05-22T18:49:00.000+01:00

Well I don't know why I thought yesterday would be any different from my other appointments. I met with yet another person who I told my medical history to, they did some bloodwork, the doctor pressed on my tummy and that was about it.

No answers about what to expect in hospital ... no information. I asked what happened next and she sort of stared at me and said that next I come in and have my operation. Okay then.

So there you go - I suppose we'll just play this whole surgery thing by ear.

On another note - she was impressed with my weight loss.. by their scale it was 10 pounds.

2007-05-21T09:13:00.000+01:00

Today is my preop assessment at the hospital. I have no idea what exactly they will do - but I'm sure I'll get to sit and wait on a few different people to see me.

Last visit, I was told that I had to lose some weight before surgery. In my head, I know that makes sense - but I got really frustrated because they'd never mentioned that to me before. Random people have been seeing me since last August and in that time I'd actually gained just shy of 30lbs. A little bit of last supper syndrome, I'll admit - but also due to the thyroid drug I'd been put on which slows down the metabolism (like I need that!). So every meeting I'd had, they'd note the gain and also note the drug and say that was why I'd gained.

I then go to the last appointment and all of a sudden was chided for gaining. I think that's one of the downsides of seeing so many different people (even if they are working for the same surgeon). It was very annoying.

On another note, it actually turns out that the hypERthyroidism I had is now hyPO and they'd given me too much medicine to slow down my thyroid. Go figure. In my mind, the NHS's ick care for chronic conditions strikes again. I've now stopped taking that medicine.

I've been dieting since that visit and I've lost 7.78lbs. (but who's counting!) I went and weighed myself this morning at Boots and plan to take the printed slip with me in case their scale shows a lesser number.

I will be SO annoyed if they push back my surgery. I want to show them that I'm dedicated to making this work, hence the diet.

More news after the appointment today. Finger's x'd.

2007-05-18T12:25:00.000+01:00

Ah.. Friday.

Monday I have my preop assessment at the hospital. I'm down about six pounds since my last visit with the consultant, so I hope my hard dieting work (and man, it's been kinda hard) will show that I am committed to making this surgery a success. We shall see. I'm nervous about it.

On another note - I went to Boots to weigh today and found out that if you pick up one of their 'weightloss program' brochures - you get a card with a chip in it (like a credit card) that you use when you use their scale. The chip remembers your last ten weights, which I think is helpful. More importantly - you get 30% off the price of weighing when using the card (and the card comes with one free weigh). Not bad for a freebie, huh?

I think my plan to keep myself from being scale and number crazy is to weigh there before work a couple times a week. We'll see how it goes.

2007-05-11T10:47:00.000+01:00

One month and one day from today... snip, stitch and viola, new me!

2007-05-10T12:06:00.000+01:00

I've started using SparkPeople to track what I'm eating.. I figure it's good to get in the habit now so that after my surgery I can see how/what I'm doing/eating. I also want to pay specific attention to the amount of protein and carbs I'm eating and the nutrition tracker tool makes it a snap. I used to use FitDay (which is also helpful) to track stuff, but SparkPeople looks a lot more modern and also has eating plans and exercise ideas built in. We'll see how it goes!

Since my last visit to the clinic, I've been trying to diet as much as possible. Have I lost anything? Uh, not yet. But I haven't been 100% good, either.

So - feel free to click the link above and give it a go with me!

2007-05-07T16:10:00.000+01:00

In preparation for my new life and new way of eating - I've been trying to learn as much as possible about post op nutrition. I've gleaned that I'm really going to have to focus on protein and have really started paying attention to what's in the food my family eats and just what I'll be trying to have after I'm back on 'real' food after my surgery.

I've noticed a huge difference between the UK information I've been given and stuff I've seen from the US. Here a lot of the handouts I've seen suggest eating mashed potatoes and just adding gravy to items to make them more liquid so they go down easier. In the US, there's a big push for protein powders and I've decided to take a more US approach to eating afterwards.

I guess you could say that I'm taking things into my own hands.

I've ordered 10lbs of protein powder and some micellar (sp, I know) milk that Mom is kindly hauling over for me. I'm trying to find high protein, low carb/sugar foods to have when I'm on more solid food two months after I'm home from the hospital. Things like canned chili - the regular version is so-so on protein, but get the turkey variety and the protein more than doubles.

Currently, I'm looking at foods like canned or homemade turkey chili, soft cheeses, refried beans.. etc. The more protein the better.

It's been very interesting reading..

2007-05-02T14:31:00.000+01:00

As I'm now getting closer and closer to my surgery - I'm trying to read up on life postop as much as possible. I'm on a UK message board and a few US ones. I have to admit that I like the US ones much, much more. They seem to focus on nutrition a lot more than what I'm finding in the UK, including my own surgeon!

So after reading all I can, I've ordered some protein supplements from BariatricEating.com. I like that it's a site just for people after bariatric surgery. I've ordered two 5lb bags of protein powder and a few other items to try. My mom is coming over the week before my surgery (and staying two weeks after - I can't tell you how happy I am that she'll be here, what a comfort!) so she's agreed to bring me everything I'm ordering. Mom = import company!

I've also been toying with the idea of getting a medical alert bracelet.. I am just worried that if something were to ever happen to me and I wasn't able to speak - well, I'd just want people to know that I've had the surgery and have had my anatomy rearranged. What do you think?

It hasn't hurt that I've found the cutest medical alert bracelets known to man from a site called Lauren's Hope. I'm in love, love, love with the typewriter key bracelet. I like that they have bracelets that are so fabulous, I'd wear them without the medic ID bit.

Plastik (BBW movie!)

2007-04-30T19:23:00.001+01:00

heh..

2007-04-17T22:54:00.000+01:00

For the past two days, I've been telling various people who need to know about my surgery at work. You know, for the purposes of informing them how much time I'm going to need off. My surgery is the 12th, a Tuesday. So I've said I'll need the rest of that week and then two weeks after. Hopefully that will be enough. From what I've read of others experiences, some have been ready sooner, some later. Who knows.

I was worried about asking one person at work that I don't have the best relationship with - thankfully she didn't pry (as she has in the past) and accepted being told 'I'm having surgery' and nothing more.

Whew. I was worried about that. Those close to me at work know what I'm having done - and it's not that I mind. But I just don't want people I'm not close to knowing just now. Maybe later.

I told my mother in law a few days ago... I didn't know how to interpret her reaction.

It's weird - I think it's the type of surgery that people have definite opinions about. Interesting to see how people react when I tell them. Until now, I hadn't really told anything to anyone, as who knew when/if it would really happen. But now that I have a date - well.. I'm an open book (to most).

2007-04-14T10:28:00.000+01:00

I can't believe it! Just back from holiday today to find a letter from the hospital giving me my date for surgery! I go for a pre-admission appointment on the 21st of May and my surgery is scheduled for the 12th of June!

I'm in shock and so pleased that I'm not even grumpy that it's scheduled for two months from now!

2007-03-28T10:39:00.000+01:00

On advice from the Patient Liaison at the Homerton, I called my GP to ask her to contact the PCT on my behalf. So I rang Dr Lam this morning and was, fortunately, able to speak to her. She was surprised that my funding hadn't been taken care of already. I didn't tell her that had the &$#@ person at the hospital not forgotten/lost my application that we might be further along.

She said she would find out who at the PCT was handling my case and give them a call. Hopefully that will be helpful.

I'm tired of waiting.

2007-03-19T16:07:00.000Z

On a whim, I called the patient liaison at the Homerton today. She actually knew who I was! I think I've gotten so used to being a nobody and just a number that I'm actually taken aback when someone acts like they know me and/or my case. Funny that.

Relatively calm but semi-good news is that I'm on the list to be discussed at the end of the month. This is where the multi-disciplinary team gets together to talk about upcoming cases as well as their funding. So keep your fingers crossed (are they starting to cramp yet, having been crossed for eight months?)!

Eight months. Well, at least there continues to be (ever so slow) progress. All I know is that I'm more ready than ever to get things on the road. I'm taking this medicine for my stupid overactive thyroid (who ever heard of a fat lady with an OVER active thyroid) and they've confirmed it's not helping against my battle of the bulge.

Don't get me wrong, the pie I had yesterday isn't either - but the medicine is at least a tiny part of my excuse.

2007-02-21T10:08:00.000Z

Today I have a follow up appointment with Mr Mannur. I have NO idea what I'm following up on. I just got a letter telling me to be there.

I've tried calling the patient liaison person at the hospital to check the status of my funding/operation - but I can't seem to get her to call me back. I wonder what I'll be told today.. after all, it is now mid-February and I'd previously been told that I should be having my surgery right about now.

I can't say that I'm too thrilled about my appointment today - I guess because I doubt I'll be told anything exciting. Finger's x'd that isn't the case.

What does 200 calories look like?

2007-02-07T15:47:00.000Z

Check this out - a big list of pictures of what 200 calories looks like. Makes you think, doesn't it? Would you rather have 10 gummi bears or about 3 bowls of puffed rice cereal? Me, I like to be full.. so I'd probably go for the cereal.

And WHO knew that balsamic vinegar has so many calories? Then again, I suppose you wouldn't normally even consider using/drinking 200mls of the stuff. Still - I'd rather have 333mls of whole milk!

2007-01-17T11:15:00.000Z

I called Mr Mannur's secretary on Monday to check on my funding. Apparently, Newham are speaking about their patients on the 19th. Guess who wasn't on the list for discussion? Uh, that'd be me. She was going to check and come back to me.

Crickets.

I've left her a voicemail today - It would be disappointing to find out that things aren't progressing.. Fingers x'd.

Good news..

2006-11-23T10:13:00.000Z

After an hour and a half wait in, what I've now termed the 'hallway of annoyance' I was called in to see Mr Mannur. And this time it was the man himself - it was a rather Santa-like experience.

All I can say is that I would like to see him for all my appointments. Maybe it's because I was his last appointment of the day - but he was very kind and took his time explaining things to me. We went over my history and glamourous co-morbidities and then he said that we would definitely go ahead and apply for funding.

Get this - we are totally on track for the op in February! He did say that getting funding from the Newham PCT is usually challenging with an average time of three months for funding, but apparently I can chase people in the PCT and fight my corner. I've been told to wait a month and then start to find out where I am in the process. I will, most likely, wait until the beginning of the year.

I will not see him again until we meet for a pre-op appointment. So - all was not lost and I was very, very glad that I went to the appointment.

Now, back to the hallway of annoyance. It's so weird - you sit in this hallway outside the consulting rooms and wait to be called for your appointment. The people that are there are all for appointments with Mr Mannur and friends - as that's their 'clinic'. This means you have a mix of pre and post op people. Yesterday seemed to be an even mix of both. The people - oh the people - they're all very East End and were I not grumpy, quite entertaining.

I played my PSP and kept my head down - I wasn't in the mood to strike up a conversation with a woman who explained to everyone that she'd 'had the gazzie band, luv' and a man who was keen for people to know that he'd 'known a geezer who'd been chucking up in the loo for days'. Uh, no thanks.

So - all in all, a good result and one hurdle passed with not much mention of my trick thyroid. Now I go back to waiting..

Oh almost forgot to mention!
Apparently, on the NHS you are not able to choose which type of operation you would like. While your preference is taken into account, apparently, it's up to the surgeon to decide what's best for you. Most people have the adjustable lap band done which I don't want as the thought of it inside me and a port that I can feel really freaks me out. However, my sparkling little polycystic ovaries have caused Mr Mannur to assign me to have a Roux En Y, which is the surgery I was hoping for. You go girls!

2006-11-22T08:50:00.000Z

I have my follow up appointment with the 'Fat Surgeon' (as I've lovingly started to call him) today at 15:30. I've really contemplated not going as I'm not sure what he's going to tell me, given the talk I had with the other doctor a few weeks ago. BUT I certainly don't want to get lost in the NHS queue. So I will go, but am not expecting to hear anything uplifting or new.

I've also not heard from my GP about the referral to the endocrinologist. I suppose I'll give their office a call and see what I can find out about it. I get so frustrated because you call and no one knows who you are, why you're there/calling or what you need. And the crappy part? They don't care. I suppose, there are so many people assigned to a surgery that they can't care. But every time I go to any doctor here I feel that because my illnesses aren't acute, I have to fight and push and pull to get anything done.

Does my GP know me and my family? Nope. When I go to the Fat Surgeon, does he know me? Nope. Do I ever see the same person twice? Nope. It's insane and slowly driving me mad.

I know people will counter with 'but you don't have to pay for anything' - but you know what? When I lived in America and paid insurance and copayments and all that jazz.. at least the people I paid knew me and didn't have to take the same bloody information time and time again and start at square one constantly. I'd rather shuck out a $20 co-payment and feel like I and my health matter to someone than be stuck in a system where I'm just a number and in a system that is so overburdened that my health is not a priority.

So there.

I've always felt that I was hyper...

2006-11-02T11:49:00.000Z

Yesterday I had my appointment with the gastroenterologist. When I finally got to see him (well, I say him.. it was a 'member of his team') he started by saying, 'do you know why they wanted you to see me?' To which I replied, 'No, not really.' He said, 'Well, that makes two of us.'

Cue silence from me.

After he read through my notes he said that I'd been sent to him to ensure that I (and my medical history) are fit enough to be considered as a candidate for surgery. We went through my history, we went through my current medications and we went through a lovely physical exam that involved precisely 45 seconds of pushing on my belly.

Let's stop there for a second.

I have to tell you that these appointments have been really weird so far. Obviously, I'm there because I have a problem and am seeking help from medical professionals. Now, to be considered for weight loss surgery (WLS) it helps if you have what they lovingly call a 'co-morbidity'. Which simply means something else other than my weight that will eventually kill me - to not sugar coat it. When you're talking WLS, the more of those you have, the more attractive you are for this operation because let's face it - most of the co-morbs are caused by carrying excessive weight.

When I talk to the doctors, I sort of feel like I'm saying, 'why YES, I do have diabetes and my mother has it too and wait for it, so does my dad! have I mentioned that I also have HIGH CHOLESTEROL? Ha ha, how you like me now!' Like, for the first time, the more I have wrong with me the better, if that makes sense.

That makes me feel weird.

Anyway - so I'm rambling about my history and in a hurry to advertise my glamourous co-morbs, I casually throw in that my GP has recently seen some odd test results regarding my thyroid. Apparently, I'm trying on Hyperthyroidism as a new co-morbidity, although the diagnoses of hyPOthyroidism would have been totally in line with my big fat self.

At that point, Dr Whatshisname's eyes cloud over. Bottom line is that he wants me to see an endocrinologist to sort out the thyroid issues (and get a better grip on my diabetes) before he'll recommend me to the surgeon.

HUGELY disappointing news. Damn thyroid - why couldn't it be underactive instead of over? I suppose it's an overachiever and I should be proud. I am kidding, of course.

I'm pleased to see a specialist and considering he mentioned possible tumours on my thyroid as the cause, I'm super keen. It's just that I'm not really in love with the delay on the surgery that I'm kind of counting on.

2006-10-13T11:31:00.000+01:00

After three phone calls and much shoulder shrugging on the hospital's part - we've now gotten to the bottom of what happened.

They rescheduled my gastroenterology appointment for the following week and the consultant (Doctor) told the office to cancel my general surgery appointment as it wasn't needed. I believe the consultant was confused as the whole reason I'm seeing him is for the general surgery appointment with Mr Mannur and friends.

So - as it was their screw up, they've reinstated my appointment with Mr Mannur as originally scheduled. I was very worried that they would have to put me at the back of the queue. That would've made me a bit cranky.

Gastro appt - 1 November
Mannur follow up - 22 November
and the appointment with the nutrionist is still MIA. Must remember to call and hassle for that one.

I wonder if all this paperwork/red tape cutting burns calories?

2006-10-13T07:29:00.000+01:00

I shouldn't have jinxed myself. Got home today to find two more letters saying that my appointments have been cancelled. NICE.

Finally!

2006-10-12T09:42:00.000+01:00

The letter inviting me to call and book my appointment with the gastroenterologist finally came in the post while we were on holiday last week. I was mucho relieved as it means that I can keep my surgeon appointment for the end of November.

I'm due to see the gastro doctor on Wednesday the 22nd of October - so, in two week's time. I have NO idea why I'm seeing him, what he's going to tell me or anything like that. All I know is that I have to meet with him as he will report back to the surgeon on me and based on findings will or will not recommend surgery.

I'm ready for this surgery. Big time. I'm hoping to have this appointment and then call and see if I can get them to move my follow up appt with Mr Mannur and friends up a week or two. Who knows.

I knew this was going to be a long process. Unfortunately, I'm not getting any slimmer as I find myself thinking, 'oh, go ahead and have that [insert food name here], after surgery you may never be able to have it again, not ever, not never, no way, no how.'

See - my relationship with food is wonky.

No word...

2006-09-12T10:04:00.000+01:00

So far, no word from the nutritionist and other doctor. I've decided that I'm going to give it until the end of this week, then I'm going to start making calls trying to find out what's going on... I hate waiting.

2006-08-30T15:44:00.000+01:00

I've just met with Mr Manure's junior person - well, one of them - and now I'm waiting to have bloodwork done.

He poked around my tum and took some details in a rather no-nonsense and distracted fashion. He said they'd refer me now to a bariatric doctor and a dietician. After those appointments, then I'll follow up with the surgeon and a decision will be made. Actually, two decisions - whether or not to do the surgery and what type of surgery to do.

He said my follow up appointment would be in 2-3 months time. I'm hoping that I can get those other two appointments done and then press for a closer appointment.

When they decide to do surgery, they'll apply for for funding. It's so going to be a long journey!

Just had bloodwork done and made a date for the follow up apointment. 22 November. Lovely.

2006-08-30T09:25:00.000+01:00

Today at 13:30, I'm going to leave the office and head to my appointment with the Consultant. His name is Mr Mannur. I've Googled him and found out that he does the same operations for Bupa at the London Independent Hospital. So he sounds quite experienced.. I just can't get over the fact that his name is Mannur - I keep pronouncing it like Manure in my head. Ew. Poop. I'm obviously in mature mode today, huh?

I told my two big bosses at work yesterday about pursuing WLS.. one looked like I'd just told him I was going to have my girl parts removed (bless him, he's very sweet and I scarred him a few months back when I dared to tell him that I had cramps..) and the other told me that she didn't think I was big enough to have surgery. That was flattering, I suppose.

Here's something weird that I'll share with you - I have no concept of what my body actually looks like. I know the numerical value of my weight and what I see in the mirror, but I can't quite grasp how big or how not big I am. I look at other overweight people constantly and wonder if I'm bigger or smaller than they are. I wish I had someone with me, sometimes, who would actually say 'yes, you are her size' or 'your bum is actually a little bit bigger than hers'.. That way, I think I'd have more of an accurate body image. I know I'm overweight, but mentally I don't feel overweight - whatever that is supposed to feel like.

I just read/watch/hear so many things about how being overweight ruins peoples' lives and how they can't do certain things, find love, have children and I think - there's nothing I can't do because of my weight. Wait, okay, I know there are probably things that I can't do like fit comfortably in small spaces or shop at the Gap.. but nothing life altering that I can't have/do/want/achieve.

Does that make sense?

2006-08-29T11:57:00.000+01:00

So - let's get you up to speed. I've been thinking about Weight Loss Surgery (WLS) for a while now. I'm pretty sure it's the right thing to do. I seem to have always gone back and forth between dieting and giving up all hope and just eating and not worrying about things. Obviously, the latter of the two isn't exactly the most healthy way to live. I know WLS isn't a magic option and that it will be quite a journey - but I'm ready to take the steps to begin. Last year, I used Reductil to help me lose about 47 pounds. Eventually, as most pills that affect your seratonin do - they stopped working and I began a slow slide back into gaining instead of losing. I don't want to gain it all back and I must say, I've been sort of bitten by the weight loss bug.

I come from a large family. My mom and dad are both considerably overweight and I've always been chunky. Well, as long as I can remember. I think the one thing that sets me apart from a stereotypical fat person is that I've always been pretty popular and haven't had a really tormented life being larger. Yes, I've always been bigger than my friends - but I've always had friends to be bigger than, if that makes sense.

I'm not saying that I've always been happy being overweight - it's just something that sort of makes up a part of me and if anything, has helped me create an outstanding (if I do say so myself) personality over the years. I'm not really in your face about it - but I do sort of fall in line with the belief that this is who I am and part of being me is being overweight.

So - even though I'm pretty well adjusted, this surgery could mean a pretty deep soul search down the line, I think. We'll see.

I live in England - and even though I'm lucky enough to have private healthcare, they will not cover the surgery. Pity, since if I continue as how I'm going they'll have to fund a myriad of problems resulting from my being (oh these are my new favourite words) morbidly obese.

I then went and met with my local GP, who I've seen a few times in the course of being watched by the practice when I was on Reductil last year. She thought I was a good candidate for the surgery and has referred me to a surgeon at the Homerton Hospital. I got a letter from the Homerton telling me I could ring for an appointment - so I did and I managed to get one on 11 October, a full two months from the date I called.

Not content with that, I rang them back this morning and luckily, someone had cancelled their appointment for tomorrow. So at 14:15 tomorrow I'll meet with the surgeon who may or may not do my surgery. I have no idea what to expect.

This is where it gets fun and may get complicated.. From what I've been told, if they think I'm a good candidate for the surgery, they will write to my PCT (Primary Care Trust)asking for the funding for my operation. I really have no idea what to expect on that front. Really, really.

So I'll keep you posted..

2006-08-29T11:44:00.000+01:00

My name is Elizabeth - I'm a 34 year-old expat American living in London, England. I've decided to pursue Weight Loss Surgery and this is my story.